I haven’t been doing much exploring or photographing lately. It could because of the heat, or the working full time, but I think it has more to do with my feeling towards this place. I chose to come to Hanoi, not for the delights of the city, not for the people or the food or even for the exoticness of it all. I came here because I had an opportunity to live here easily and rent-free. This has really been living-overseas-lite for me and for many reasons I haven’t connected with Hanoi or Vietnam. I cringe when I see myself living here and not learning Vietnamese (I honestly have no desire), I’m camping here in my little handmade Australia in Hanoi. Most days I venture out, I ride my bicycle, I eat on the street  and I explore, but this isn’t home and it will only ever be a temporary layover.

Since they demolished the house across the way (building is supposed to start today after the site was blessed) I have been seriously thinking about what I am going to do next. There are so many options and that makes me both giddy with excitement and exhausted with the weight of it all at once.

Despite everything I still enjoy this city. There is so much more food to discover and I know that I will never be able to taste it all. Hanoi isn’t all bad, but the reason why it has been quiet around here is that I’m not terribly inspired and excited to talk about my life here.

Some scenes from a lovely morning stroll around town last weekend.

Ho Tay, home, is about 15 minutes drive from the Old Quarter, depending on traffic. Thats a 50,000d (~$3) taxi each way. Not a bad price by Australian standards, where the taxi flagfall is about that much. Really its a taxi ride for the price of a bus fare. But there is a public bus here to, and it costs 3,000d (17cents) so I figured I’d better check it out.

I waited at the bus stop, no shelter here just like Sydney. Finally it arrived and with the rest of the crowd I jumped on the already moving bus and with a little help from the conductor pushed my way in. It was crowded and there are only a few ‘please stop’ buttons scattered throughout which makes for lots of changing places while the bus is in its hanoi traffic stop-start motion.

The locals here are rugged up like it is approaching the deep dark depths of winter. Those jammed next to me were in full jacket and scarf ensembles while I’m holding onto the rail and sweating into my t-shirt.

There is a great bus Hanoi public bus map detailing everything except for actual bus stops. So I play chicken with the outside street, ‘no, not this stop, the next one’, ‘ oh just one more’, hoping that there will be a stop not long after where I want to be. All for nothing though, the heat and the on-board crush get the better of me and I hop out randomly and start walking.

Outside the streets are bustling, but I keep passing these empty scenes, tables just waiting for someone to sit and slurp some noodles. Maybe I took these photos because I was photographed against my will earlier in the day. Sitting, all knees and elbows, hunched over my tray of bun cha in the street I saw a girl exit the eateries, half empty beer in hand. Smooth. A moment later her friend comes out, along with his beer is a big camera. He lifts it, aims it at me and shoots. Then he walks away. No smile, no nod, no ‘hey can I take your photo?’. I can imagine that I looked hilarious - fat whitey origami-ed onto a tiny plastic stool - and potentially photo worthy, but I felt grubby and exploited. Of course this has made me reconsider taking photographs of people, something that I was already uncomfortable with.

A sardine bus ride, an unsolicited photograph and a series of empty images.