I am yet to come to terms with this thing that I’m doing. I think it is best if I don’t, like when I got my wisdom teeth out and only let myself think about the pain and discomfort after the fact. Unlike dental surgery, I need to get excited about this adventure, force myself into it. Seeing the planes overhead at Sydenham every morning helps. In just over a month I’ll be on one, going in the opposite direction.

I hate these spring days that feel like Autumn and taste like dust. Or maybe, the first day of my last week of work is making me feel flat. Or maybe, it is the thought of leaving behind my beloved books.

I always feel terrible about asking people to help me, especially when it involves two separate groups of people. The fine coordination, promises easily made then broken, changing plans, stress on an already too stressful day. Thankfully this time there was none of that. Just smiles and help carrying the boxes. We finished before 9am and headed to Bourke St Bakery to celebrate, and wake up.

Of course this doesn’t mean that I’m all packed up and ready to ship out, uh uh. I’ve just taken a step towards operational readiness.

dust storm out my kitchen window, unedited, only resized. Taken just after sunrise, still asleep.

Waking up to burning red reflecting off the neighbours white wall, unpleasant. Then there is the taste. It took me a few minutes to pin it down after I jumped out of bed and sleepily grabbed my camera. Too tired and adrenaline pumped to change lenses or take a proper photo, too scared to open the window and let the outside in.

The taste is like a dry day walking the dirt road home from school. An inconsiderate driver speeds past as you hold your breath and close your eyes tight. I woke up to that taste in my mouth, inside, in bed, with all the windows closed, * 100. Does this mean I don’t have to go to work today?

Tuesday September 22: Now everyone knows and the questions have started bubbling up. Sometimes I don’t know what to say, blush and blink. I feel I need to explain myself, but there is no reason.

Good news for me, though: Bambini Wine Room has just opened at Sydney International Airport, lunch perhaps?